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R | 2h | Comedy, Thriller, Espionage | April 19, 2024
“The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare,” is director Guy Ritchie raising a glass to Quentin Tarantino’s “Inglourious Basterds” with an unapologetic, unabashed, Nazi-bashing fun-fest of his own.
“Ungentlemanly” more or less hits two birds with one stone as a double-barreled origin story for how James Bond came to be, and how military special operations commando teams—such as the British SAS and the U.S. Navy SEALS—came to be.
And while all of the above is in based on true stories, when it comes to Mr. Ritchie, who tends to choose fun over facts, that’s just a jumping-off point for outrageous dramatic license where barely anything one is about to see actually happened. True or false, with “The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare,” there is quite a bit of fun to be had.
Operation Postmaster
The story told here is the 82-year-old military underground mission code-named “Operation Postmaster,” secretly organized by Winston Churchill (played here by Rory Kinnear). This was a British World War II effort in which an intrepid group of piratical, deadly rogues, each one as cool as a cucumber, and tongue-in-cheek-hilarious, were secretly sent to the coast of Africa to destroy a Nazi supply ship.
What for? The Brits needed to halt these German supply boats that were keeping the Nazi submarines in business, torpedoing American Navy ships, and preventing America from transporting troops across the Atlantic to join England in the war effort.
“M” (Cary Elwes)—yes, the famous “M” of the James Bond books and movies—calls Churchill’s risky plan “an unsanctioned, unauthorized, and unofficial mission.” This is pretty much what every SEAL team, Green Beret, and Army ranger mission is nowadays.
Also involved in the plot is M’s underling, a young Ian Fleming (Freddie Fox). Most of Fleming’s inspiration for 007’s spy adventures stemmed from his time working for British Naval Intelligence.
The Team
One Gus March-Phillipps is recruited to discreetly sail to the Spanish-controlled neutral colony Fernando Po, and blow the big German supply boat sky-high. March-Phillipps was apparently Fleming’s main inspiration for James Bond, and is played by Henry Cavill, fresh off playing another spy in “Argylle“ and sporting a mustache that should have its own agent.
Along with March-Phillipps are Anders “The Danish Hammer” Lassen, played by Alan Ritchson, looking even more monstrous than his normal Jack Reacher self. Mr. Ritchson appears to be emulating the flamboyant character that that other current cinematic physical behemoth, Jason Momoa, debuted in “Fast X.” Unfortunately, it’s not nearly as funny a performance as Momoa’s.
Then, there’s the thoroughly unfazed Geoffrey Appleyard (Alex Pettyfer), who’s able to conduct a normal conversation while being Nazi-tortured via electric cables clipped to his nips. Rounding out the crew are diving and underwater demolition expert Freddy Alvarez (Henry Golding, so far from “Crazy Rich Asians” that he’s unrecognizable), and the young Henry Hayes (Hero Fiennes Tiffin), sailor and navigator extraordinaire.
On Target
Once they arrive on target, the team joins forces with spies Heron (Babs Olusanmokun) and Marjorie (Eiza González); the latter is a Jewish agent who’s deeply invested in getting revenge on the Nazis. She also demonstrates more tangibly than any other iteration of the genre I can think of, why a military and espionage-weaponized femme fatale is an unstoppable force, even against a Nazi officer with ice water in his veins. Watch for the scene (one that’s guaranteed never to have happened) where she grabs the mic and seductively wows the crowd with a rendition of Kurt Weill’s “Mack the Knife” at an after-hours Nazi banquet.
Suffice it to say, there’s an 11th hour revelation that the supply ship is thoroughly armored up, and therefore can’t be blown up. What to do? Maybe steal it instead?
Overall, as mentioned, there’s not much of an attempt to be realistic with this band of proto paramilitary merry pranksters, cracking wise and shooting Nazis like they were playing at target practice—especially the gay version of Jack Reacher going bow-hunting for Storm troopers.
Sometimes we just want to see evildoers meet grizzly ends because they deserve it. This movie, like “Inglourious Basterds,” will definitely scratch that itch.
‘Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare’
Director: Guy Ritchie
Starring: Henry Cavill, Henry Golding, Cary Elwes, Alan Ritchson, Alex Pettyfer, Eiza González, Hero Fiennes Tiffin, Babs Olusanmokun
MPAA Rating: R
Running Time: 2 hours
Release Date: April 19, 2024
Rating: 3 1/2 stars out of 5
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