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PG-13 | 2h 19m | Comedy, Action | Feb. 2, 2024
I’m usually a bit of an eating-in-movie-theaters snob—“It’s art, you fools! You don’t snarf hot dogs at ‘La Boheme,’ do you??” (Ahem, I never go to the opera.). “You don’t munch popcorn at the Guggenheim, do you?!!” (I, um, avoid galleries.). I should probably lighten up in this regard.
But other critics need to lighten up more! Yes, they do. “Argylle” (soon streaming on AppleTV+), directed by Matthew Vaughn (“The King’s Man” series)—a silly, flyweight, spy action-comedy full of faux-Bond shenanigans—is currently getting hammered by critics on Rotten Tomatoes.
Why such an innocuous, knockabout lark is getting hated on so relentlessly is a mystery. Audiences liked it. I liked it. Even though it’s too long, this is entertainment writ large, to the point where our American multitasking penchant for simultaneously feeding all our senses—crunching and slurping high fructose corn syrup, with our eyes bugged out in the dark caves of movie theaters—doesn’t bother me in the slightest.
‘Argylle’
This movie is “Romancing the Stone,” mashed up with … never mind. It’s too easy to give this one away, so let’s just say it starts as one of those movies where an author suddenly discovers she’s caught up in the whirlwind plot that comes from a novel she wrote.
Best-selling author Elly Conway (Bryce Dallas Howard) authors spy rather than romance novels, although, hilariously, she’s got a romance novel-type infatuation with her lead character—the spy Argylle (Henry Cavill of “Superman” fame)—going on in her head.
She’s got a huge fan base who are continually dumbfounded and thoroughly engrossed by Elly’s uncanny ability to research deeply into the details of spy tradecraft. Can you say, er, Jason Bourne? She normally enjoys book signings and Q&As, but when we meet up with her, she’s got a bad case of writer’s block.
Her overbearing stage mother (Catherine O’Hara) passive aggressively insinuates that her daughter’s latest book is underdone and insists that Elly visit for the weekend, so she can help her add the finishing-touch extra chapter. So Elly, who hates airplanes, packs up her laptop and her beloved (and way too CGIed) Scottish Fold-breed cat Alfie, and takes the train to see the folks.
Aerophobia
En route, she meets Aidan Wilde (Sam Rockwell), a real and extremely un-James Bond-looking spy, who informs her that her books have put a price on her head in the espionage world, because, unbeknown to her, she keeps inadvertently revealing the outcome of actual spy plots that are happening in real time.
Despite her fear of flying, they get on a jet, anyway, headed to London and then wind up hiding in a French vineyard with an ex-CIA boss (Samuel L. Jackson), where they try to figure out how to stop current evil agency boss (Bryan Cranston) before he kills them all.
It’s Fun!
Naturally, there’s more going on here than just a comical romp about a writer and her fuzzy cat who contain the key to uncovering yet another potentially globe-threatening memory-stick MacGuffin.
The fun is had in the way the director Mr. Vaughn uses music, color, smoke, sparks, and dance choreography to ham things up and go way over the top with operatic glee in just about every element.
Not to mention, this is a cast where everybody’s a serious comedy pro; Ms. Howard makes a nice damsel-in-distress protagonist, and Mr. Rockwell, usually a portrayer of creeps, finally has a role that lets him exhibit charisma and soul. And he gets to dance, which is his movie trademark.
The deft script, jam-packed with reveals and reversals, whirls us around so successfully that, much like Elly, we’re not sure who to trust. And had the fight choreography overpowered the gunplay rather than vice versa, it could have been surprisingly thrilling. As such, “Argylle” is sort of a James Bond or a ”Mission: Impossible” movie on helium.
Unfortunately, CGI seams are readily observable in almost every scene, rendering everything slightly cartoonish. But, like I said, this is entertainment, and it delivers—audiences are at 71 percent, while critics are at 32 percent on Rotten Tomatoes. And you won’t mind the hints about a sequel because a good bag of popcorn can smooth over a fair amount of movie deficiencies. Which is part of why it exists.
‘Argylle’
Director: Matthew Vaughn
Starring: Bryce Dallas Howard, Sam Rockwell, Bryan Cranston, Catherine O’Hara, Henry Cavill, Samuel L. Jackson, John Cena, Dua Lipa, Richard E. Grant
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Running Time: 2 hours, 19 minutes
Release Date: Feb. 2, 2024
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
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