There is no right and wrong way to divvy up the work between parents as they work to raise their children and put food on the table. Whether it’s both parents working, one working a full-time job, or a mixture of both options, there are dozens of ways for families to raise happy, healthy households.
Unfortunately, a lot of pressure and expectations get placed on parents by those who don’t understand just how much work goes into every aspect of raising children—and in an effort to highlight just how hard it is to stay at home, one working dad wrote the perfect blog post about his wife.
Brad Kearns of the Australian blog DaDMuM poured 500 words into a Facebook post in November 2018, highlighting the difference between his day working in an office and his wife’s day taking care of their three children.
Massive day at work today. We have our monthly senior leadership meeting. I have to travel for a 5 hour round journey…
“Massive day at work today,” his post started. It appeared that he was set to complain about everything that he had to do—and then things appeared to get even worse when he started to complain about how little his wife was doing.
“We have our monthly senior leadership meeting. I have to travel for a 5 hour round trip journey split by car and train. Then when I get there, I have to sit there all day and do important work stuff and have big work conversations. It’s exhausting.
“And what’s my wife doing? Not much really.”
As soon as he continues on, though, it becomes apparent that the “only” things his wife had to do were surprisingly exhausting in their own right.
“All she has to do is get two boys up, dressed and fed while breastfeeding the third. Then no doubt they’ll need to be taken outside or to a park to get all that energy out. How easy is that. All she has to do is sort their bags out, find the hats, pack some snacks and a spare change of clothes and buckle them into the car.”
“Then while they’re there she’ll have to feed the baby again because that’s what he does. Without letting go of him she’ll have to interact with and help the others on and off swings and stimulate them enough to not get bored. It’s easy really.
“They’ll come home where she’ll sort their lunch out. They probably won’t eat it. Then while trying to get them to rest she’ll jump online and do some online shopping. Groceries … what a life. Pffft … as if you wouldn’t just go to the store with three kids on your own.”
For anyone like me:One of the worst habits I’ve developed over 10 years of being together is that I actually do “help…
He went on, describing all of the incredible things that his wife was juggling while he was focusing on nothing but work. From the constant nursing of their newborn to making sure all of the shopping and feeding got done, her day was a three-ringed circus—and using perfect, sarcastic but comedic delivery, he showed just how much she was really getting done in those hours that people claim stay-at-home parents are just “sitting around” or “doing the easy jobs.”
He ended by thanking her, pointing out how she was the family’s glue—but not without giving a subtle look into what he, as the parent working outside the home, should do to help her when he got home.
The thought-provoking post has since been shared by 1,200 people and received quite an overwhelming response, while many could relate to it.
One Facebook user wrote, “No doubt dads work long and often hard days, but it means the world to hear a dad acknowledge how long and hard and repetitive a mums working day is too!”
Another commented, “Ur a good Man. Appreciating and Acknowledging the hard work your wife also does is the GLUE DaDMuM.”
“Your appreciation for your wife is absolutely beautiful! you really do understand don’t you?” another Facebook user wrote.
The post doesn’t directly call out the critics of stay-at-home parents, but Kearns is spectacular with his imagery and word choice. He takes the typical complaints made by people and turns them around to show just how much is going unappreciated—and shows what an awesome parent and spouse he is in the process.