Do you know what it feels like to be paralyzed by indecisiveness? You might be the kind of person who loves planning and dreaming but who feels anxious the moment it comes to taking action.
Chances are, you’re one of the many people who struggle with some degree of perfectionist tendencies, even if you don’t realize it.
For a long time, I was completely unaware of how that struggle was gripping me. In certain areas of my life, I was a carefree, confident leader, but in other areas I would spend hours and hours crafting the perfect plan and never follow through with my ideas.
Perfectionism is a complex trait that expresses itself widely depending on various personality factors. For example, what you see as your identity, what you put your hopes in, and what you’re afraid of are a few powerful influences on whether you will be prone to action or paralysis.
Even though I’ve experienced much growth in this area, it’s still a constant battle for me.
Every time I sit down to write, I can feel insecurities rising to the surface. The difference now is that I feel stronger and more confident that I’ll find a way to overcome them.
2 Base Strategies
I’ll share a few things I’ve learned about myself, along with the strategies that have had the most significant impact in my life.
1. Identify the Root Causes of Perfection Paralysis
Perfectionism isn’t the problem; it’s a symptom. The root of the issue is almost always fear. For whatever reason, some of us develop an overly strong preference for security and comfort, building our lives around avoiding what we perceive as threats.
We’re good at hiding our weaknesses, so it can take some effort to peel back the layers and reveal what it is you’re really afraid of. Here’s what I discovered about myself:
I Didn’t Want to Fail: I wasn’t as worried about what other people thought as I was about my own self-esteem. If you try to accomplish something and fall short, there are no excuses you can hide behind. As long as you’re in planning mode, you can cling to the hope of someday achieving that goal.
I Hated Uncertainty: I’ve always disliked things being unclear. I think that that’s part of what drew me to simple living and minimalism as a young adult; there was beauty and calm in clearing away the clutter and having only the essential remain. The “problem” with the real world is that things are never as simple as they appear to be in your plans, and so I hid in my plans as long as I possibly could.
I Was Afraid of Hard Work: I’ve written about this before, but it never gets easier to admit. While I was growing up and throughout my school years, many pursuits came easily to me. Unfortunately, I developed the habit of coasting on my gifts and avoiding the growth opportunities that come from genuine struggle. It’s still a reflex deep inside of me to avoid areas in which I might have to work hard and fight to achieve my goals.
2. Adopt New Behaviors and Mindsets
Useful advice often sounds obvious to some people and life-changing to others. I’m not sure why that is. In fact, I’ve had times when I’ve heard the same guidance for years, and then, all of a sudden, it starts clicking. Or I hear it again in a different context, and it suddenly sounds like the master key to all my problems.
That’s one of the reasons I like to share what’s worked for me, in the hopes that someone will have that moment in which everything makes sense.
4 Tips for Progressing Away From Perfectionism
In that spirit, here are some tips and ideas that have helped me make progress against perfectionism.
1. Set Time Limits
For a perfectionist, not having a deadline is an invitation to explore every possible angle and avoid committing for as long as possible. Nothing clarifies your thinking and forces faster decisions than the cold, hard hands (or digital numbers) on a clock.
2. Commit to Progress
For better or worse, I’ve found that the person I’m most likely to let down is myself. When it comes to my professional life and my closest relationships, I somehow rise to challenges and deliver what’s expected of me. I’ve learned to use this to my advantage by committing more publicly to my projects and working in partnership with others.
3. Track Efforts
I’ve come to a personal realization that the only form of motivation consistently under my control is what comes from making progress. Progress in any area is instantly rewarding, and I try to amplify that effect by visually tracking my progress. Doing so encourages a bias toward action, as I seek out the intrinsic reward that comes from forward motion.
4. Embrace Uncertainty
My final piece of wisdom is more of a mindset shift than a practical tip, but it’s one that I often reflect on. I used to imagine that I could lay out the perfect plan up front, execute it like a machine, and achieve my goals with relative ease. I realize now that I was trying to avoid uncertainty and the hard work of learning as I go.
The truth about making progress is that you need to push ahead while the way is still unclear, make decisions before you have all of the answers, and take action before the perfect moment arrives. In other words, you must learn to embrace the mystery and uncertainty of life and not be afraid to get dirty.
