Mick Jagger howled, “Hold on to your head; hold on to your hat. You’re screaming down the alley and never coming back,” in the Rolling Stones’ 1989 hit song “Hold On To Your Hat.” He could easily have been singing about life with the 2012 Dodge Charger SRT8.

A brute by any measure, the Charger SRT8 is good old American in-your-face performance at its best. Although it has a nicely appointed cabin chock full of creature comforts, it is all about getting down the road quicker than the guy in the next car—almost regardless of what that car might be.

Sure there are some other sedans out there that can hustle to 60 miles per hour from a standstill in about four and a half ticks of the stop watch, but they are few and far between. And only the 2012 Subaru WRX STI can do it for less money.

A brute by any measure, the Charger SRT8 is good old American in-your-face performance at its best.

It’s tough to argue with the greenies who will say that you don’t need a 470 hp 6.4-liter Hemi V8 to go to the grocery store. Indeed you don’t, but it makes the trip a heck of a lot more fun. What will also add to the enviro commandos’ distress is that this is 45 hp more than last year’s 6.1-liter Hemi V8. Stop the madness!

You can opt for more tame Chargers with either a 292 hp 3.6-liter V6 or a 370-horsepower 5.7-liter V8; but when faced with people who think a 98 hp three-cylinder engine is all the get-up-and-go you really need, even a less aggressive Charger is too much.

So you might as well fork out the $46,647—which includes a $1,000 gas guzzler tax—for the mad-dog SRT8 and let your tree-hugging friends form a picket line in front of your garage.

Any muscle car worth its salt should be rear-wheel drive, as is the Charger. All those ponies and the 470 lb-ft. of asphalt-spewing torque arrive at the rear wheels by way of a 5-speed automatic transmission. 

Unfortunately, if you want to stir the tranny yourself, you’ll have to make do with the automatic’s manual mode. Shifts are through either the gear-shift lever or the paddles mounted on the leather-wrapped, flat-bottom, heated steering wheel.

There is no way to dress up the Charger SRT8’s city fuel economy to make it sound better. The EPA estimates it at 14 mpg. That’s only better by 1 mpg than the big, honking Toyota Land Cruiser. 

However, thanks to the Fuel Saver Technology that shuts down four cylinders when the car is cruising, the EPA-estimated highway mileage is a more reasonable 23 mpg. Still not great by Toyota Prius standards, but it’s pretty good for all the under-the-hood performance.

At the Charger SRT8’s four corners are 20-inch alloy wheels wrapped in performance Z-rated tires. Monitored by an antilock system, brake rotors the size of man-hole covers and four-piston, red-painted Brembo grabbers drag this beast to a stop.

Short and long arms up front and a multi-link setup in the rear provide the backbone of Charger’s four-wheel independent suspension. The SRT8 gets an adaptive damping suspension (ADS) that computes factors such as speed, throttle position and lateral acceleration to instantly re-tune the suspension as the situation changes. Two distinct modes, Auto and Sport, allow the driver to set the ADS to normal driving patterns or more track-like patterns.

Traction control, stability control, emergency braking assist and electronic brake-force distribution are all standard.

Roomy Cabin

Capable of seating five, but better suited for four, the cabin reflects the Charger SRT8’s performance DNA. 

Big, beefy, heated and ventilated 12-way power adjustable front bucket seats snug their occupants between massive side bolsters. Even the rear seat’s heated outboard positions are deeply sculpted to help hold passengers in place. Nappa leather with perforated suede inserts cover the seats.

Front and back, legroom abounds. Six-footers may find backseat headroom a bit stingy; otherwise, there’s plenty of space. Expansive with a wide opening, the trunk holds up to 16.3 cubic feet of stuff—about the same as the Mercedes-Benz S-Class.

Dominating the center of the dashboard is the large, 8.4-inch color touchscreen that oversees several of the systems like audio and the standard hard-drive navigation. Intuitive in its operation, it is easy to master. Some of the luxury brands should take note.

Also standard is the Electronic Vehicle Information Center that includes timers for 0-to-60, one-eighth and quarter-mile acceleration, as well as braking distances and lateral g-forces.

Just about everything to be found in the Charger SRT8 is standard. There are only a few options like the $745 Driver Confidence Group that includes blind-spot monitoring, rearview camera and rain-sensing wipers, and the $795 adaptive cruise control.

Among its standard equipment not already mentioned are full power accessories, heated outboard mirrors, 60/40 split-folding rear seat, power-adjustable pedals, power tilt-and-telescoping steering wheel with redundant audio controls, dual-zone automatic climate control, keyless enter and go, remote start, seven airbags, trip computer, Bluetooth connectivity and a 19-speaker Harman Kardon-infused 900-watt 7.1 surround-sound audio system with five subwoofers, CD player, and iPod integration.

Dodge even throws in a one-day professional instruction session from the Richard Petty Driving Experience.

The 2012 Dodge Charger SRT8 may not make the environmentalists happy, but it will put a smile on any boy or girl racer’s face.